Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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