I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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