I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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