Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
