Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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