I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
