Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
