She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
