So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
