We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
