Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
