I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
false alarm, still single
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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