Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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