If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize