I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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