She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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