he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
