Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize