Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We left the knife in your bed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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