Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
