so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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