Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
