i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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