My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
