I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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