My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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