My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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