the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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