we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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