If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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