the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
