i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
