I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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