The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
