how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
