I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
