if you like me you must not know who I am
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
