Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ttyl tear gas
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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