evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
