i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
