I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
