literally had 100 drinks last night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize