she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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