Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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