White coat. Heels.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
