i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
