It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
