Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
