it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
