none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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