what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
