Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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