I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
