I will die if light touches me.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When are your genitals available?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
