I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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