exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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