i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
