All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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