I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
