the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
