She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
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