I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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