5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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