This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
