is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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