Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
