Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
