Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
