Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
