New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
