Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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