I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
