I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
