PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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